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How do I feel: Stomach ache and not super hungry

Riiiiiiight. Even for me, a person who cooks all the time, from scratch, and is extremely healthy (MOST of the time, save my pre-paleo cupcake indulgence which was TOTALLY worth it, and beer, because I love beer) this is getting a little rough. I consulted the Whole30 Timeline and hey, wouldn’t you know it? I’m right on track! [insert sarcasm here] See?

[taken straight from their site]

Days 2-3: The Hangover.

The alarm rings on day 2 and you pop out of bed expecting the same kind of Charlie Sheen winning feeling you had yesterday. Instead, you get the other side of Charlie…you know – the pounding-head-cross-eyed-can’t-see-straight side. You know you didn’t down a fifth of tequila in your sleep, so what the heck happened?!

Remember the pre Whole30 bender you went on? Pizza, cookies, Jim Beam, jelly beans (oh, the jelly beans)? Yeah. This is when it comes back to bite you in the butt. (And the head.) And it is definitely true that the amount of suck you experience in this phase is directly proportional to the amount of crap you consumed before you began the program. Especially if you consumed it consistently. This phase is especially hard for the habitual Diet Coke (and Diet Dr. Pepper here in my part of the world) drinkers. You know who you are.

Many Whole30ers report headaches, fatigue, and general malaise during this part of the program. This, my friends, is completely normal. Your body is working its way through a whole host of junk it stored from the foods (or food-like-products) you used to eat. This process lasts a day for some folks, but for others it can take a few days longer. Relax, drink a lot of water, and keep making good choices. And do your best to earn  sympathy and support from friends and family, because…

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Let’s be honest, shall we? You know I had the Elvis cupcake.

Trophy Cupcake Elvis Hummingbird Cupcake with Peanut Butter frosting

Copyright 2014 Siiri Sampson. All Rights Reserved.

That was three to four days before I started. Then over the weekend I had the following:

Friday dinner: Salad bar from Whole Foods (YUM) + Beer from Whole Foods (YUMMM) with my girl Tina, while we debriefed on the week.

Saturday: Healthy, local food (including shrimp, but also including grits) at brunch with friends Kate and Fauna….also had 2 cups of coffee and a Bloody Mary with extra horseradish. Then a forgettable lunch. Saturday dinner with Tina and Rachel (girls night on the town, including an awesome foot soak and head massage at this weird/cool Imperial Foot Soak place) consisted of two beers, steak frites, Imperial Rolls, then they convinced me to have some Jameson after dinner. Then of course we hit up another fun spot (Old Sage) for a late night snack and drinks (but I didn’t have any snacks, just half a beer) before heading home. Good thing I work out…..

Sunday: Nonfat latte for late breakfast, soft boiled eggs with whole grain toast and cheese for mid-day snack, and (brace yourself) then I went grocery shopping to three different stores to prepare for week 1 of the Whole30. When I got home with all the groceries, I cleaned out the fridge and saw some weird remnants that needed to be cooked and eaten or thrown away. I really despise food waste (or wasting anything that is still totally usable) so here’s what I had for dinner: cheese tortellini with peas and homemade pesto topped with a bit of parmesan, last half glass of wine left in the only open bottle, then a square of brie baked in the oven with a tablespoon of organic fig preserves. DAIRY BOMB!

Yeah, no wonder I have been teetering on the brink of stomach aches off and on for the last 24 hours. But I have been really good at hydrating and already feel like my body is responding well to that! And I haven’t broke down in tears over not having half and half in my coffee…..YET.

Now, as a moment of “let’s bond with the 5-10 people that read this blog,” here’s a treat for you: I dreamt about food last night. This happens sometimes, but last night’s food dream was really just a nightmare wherein I was ravenously hungry (shockingly different from my waking life exactly how?). Twice in the dream, I found a satisfying snack and was so thankful (you know how everything tastes SO much better when you’re hungry) but then as soon as I finished the last bite of the snack, I broke into tears! After the first snack, I realized I had eaten a big fluffy piece of French bread with butter and the second was a delicious piece of cheddar cheese. Dairy dreams, people, I’m having dairy dreams. When I woke up, I was panicking for a second, because of course I wasn’t sure if it really happened or not (which is why I was crying in the dream, I was so mad that I mistakenly ate a snack that wasn’t part of the experiment). But as the day went on, I was just laughing at myself. Nice try, subconscious! I’m stronger than that!

Let’s cut to the chase and see my food diary for day two, even though it’s kinda lame:


  • Black coffee + homemade almond milk
  • 1 banana
  • 2 20 ounce bottles of water


  • 1 avocado
  • 1/2 cup Baba Ganoush
  • 2 eggs + yam chips
Copyright 2014 Siiri Sampson. All rights reserved.

Copyright 2014 Siiri Sampson. All rights reserved.


  • 3 (10 ounce) cups of tea
  • Handful of raw almonds
  • 1 Satsuma
  • 10 olives
  • 1 large Fuji apple


  • 1/2 onion and 10 mushrooms sautéed with 1/2 chicken breast in coconut oil
  • 1 small yam, steamed
  • 5 baby bok choy steamed in pan + fresh basil and spices (curry powder, smoked paprika and chili powder with 1/4 cup water)
Copyright 2014 Siiri Sampson. All rights reserved.

Copyright 2014 Siiri Sampson. All rights reserved.

Lesson of the day: I need to find some recipes in the next day or two, because I know I am about to get really bored of the “just eat the food on the list but don’t bother making an actual recipe or dish” approach that usually dominates my daily life.

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